The Fem Spot

The case of the glued penis…huh?

Posted in Feminist Theory, Marriage, Sexuality by femspotter on September 11, 2009

September 11, 2009

I’m probably not supposed to laugh about this, but upon doing my usual news perusal this morning, I came across something that set me to giggling:

Women face trial for staged motel tryst ending with glued penis

How can you avoid investigating that headline further?

At first, I was expecting some ridiculous scandal involving a bachelorette party and a “pin the penis on the naked man” game. Perhaps things got a little out of control and the girls ended up streaking the motel parking lot with paper penises glued to their foreheads, thought I. It could – and probably has – happen(ed).

Well, sadly, this is not a case of girls gone wild for fun. This is girls gone wild for revenge. This is the kind of story that would make for a great, albeit dark, comedy movie like Heathers, Jawbreaker or Death Becomes Her. In the case of each of those films, women – young and old – do deadly deeds in pursuit of something it seems most women covet: the right to call oneself “most beautiful” or “most popular.” In the case of the glued penis – that kind of sounds like a good book: Nancy Drew and the Case of the Glued Penis – four women pursued the right to call one of them “most likely to grow old with the world’s biggest loser husband.” How’s that for a superlative?

It seems that they don’t get much reality television in Wisconsin. Four apparently bored women including the wife of the “victim” concocted a scheme to trap a man who was sleeping with three of them indiscreetly. No, this is not the pilot episode plot summary for The Real Housewives of Calumet County.

Therese Ziemann claims that she met the man on Craigslist – I knew it was good for something – and fell in love with him. She allegedly payed for their hotel rooms and lent him $3,000.

Ziemann claims to have been contacted on the day before the assault by the man’s wife who confirmed that she was married to the man and was mother to his children; and that it was subsequent to that conversation that Ziemann, the wife, another girlfriend of the cheating husband, and Ziemann’s sister agreed to ambush the man at a Stockbridge motel and make him confess his treachery.

The man told police that he met with Ziemann for a sexual encounter at the motel, and she suggested that she tie him up and rub him down. She used bed sheets to restrain him and blindfolded him with a pillowcase. Then, according to the “victim,” she cut off his underwear with scissors and texted her accomplices telling them that he was tied up.

The four women asked the man questions about where his true affections lie. Then Ziemann slapped him and used Krazy Glue to attach his penis to his stomach, according to her testimony. The women took his wallet, car and cell phone and left him at the motel tied up. He then chewed through his restraints and called police.

My favorite line of the CNN article is: “CNN does not name victims of alleged sexual assault and will not name the alleged victim’s wife since they use the same last name.”

Why do I love this line? Because CNN is taking this man’s status as a victim very seriously – his identity is known. I put the word “victim” in quotation marks: this man made a series of deliberate choices (some illegal) that resulted in his uncomfortable apprehension. He’s not a victim like, say, children who find their genitals cut off in sadistic “circumcision” rituals in Africa et al. He’s not a victim like the Micheal Vick pit bulls who were riled up and used for sport. Nor, is he like the small rabbits and kittens that are used to bait such fighting dogs. And he certainly isn’t a victim like the millions of women and children who are beaten by abusive men in the United States and other countries around the world. No. Additionally, he did not find himself shot dead by George Sodini in Bridgeville, Pennsylvania or Seung-Hui Cho at Virginia Tech. He did not find himself lying dead at the base of the fallen World Trade Center towers eight years ago today.

Can men be victims? Sure. And women have been known to beat their husbands and their children too. But, this man is not the poster child for penile rights! According to the article, this man “has a criminal record in Wisconsin dating back to 1998, (and) is in custody on unrelated charges of child abuse, theft and harassment.”

While CNN references its policy about not revealing the names of “victims” of “sexual assault,” I wonder at what point does this “victim” become the villain? At what point do his wife and his two unsuspecting girlfriends become “victims” of his treachery? At what point do his children become victims of his child abuse, the robbed victims of his theft, and the harassed victims of his harassment? As far as I can tell, this man is not a “victim” at all: he just got a little taste of his own medicine.

Now don’t go thinking that I am trivializing what must have been agonizing sexual assault for this man… No, you’re right, I am. Sexual assault in the form a Krazy Glued penis neither alarms nor horrifies me. Had they cut it off, then we’d have a serious crime on our hands.

The Witches of Stockbridge?

The Witches of Stockbridge?

Which brings us to the victims…eh perpetrators…of this incident: the women. At left is the image that CNN posted with its article. I assume these are the mug shots of Michelle Belliveau, Wendy Sewell and Ziemann (from left to right). That would make the woman on the right the man’s lover, loan shark and penis gluer. She doesn’t look too remorseful. Neither does her sister – who wasn’t sleeping with the man – on the far left. In fact, Belliveau looks rather pleased with herself. And the third cheated woman (Sewell in the center) just looks pissed off.

On the one hand, I want to say, “Good for them! They found a sisterhood and stood up for love and trust between sexual partners.” But on the other hand, I wonder what’s more pathetic: the fact that these women fell in love with and were duped by such a loser or the fact that they will stand trial and may go to prison for it?

Either way, I want to wear a t-shirt that reads “Release the Witches of Stockbridge.” For, even though they may have been tricked, they tricked back. In my book, “witch,” which is a term that has been applied to many women over the years including our esteemed – and often loathed – Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, is a great thing to be: it means you’re smart, angry and perhaps a bit tricky! (I’m sure I would have been hanged from a scaffold in Salem, 1692.) At what point do women cease to be victims?  When they rise up alone or together and fight back.

This really isn’t a case of men versus women where one or the other are bad guys or good guys simply because of their sex. This is a case of a group of people getting angry at a person for lying to them, stealing from them, neglecting them, etc. And this is a case of that group making a united stance saying, “We are not going to take it anymore!” For all intents and purposes, it’s the same thing when men and women of employment unions stand together and fight the good fight for better pay and working conditions. In this case, a group of people has also stood up for better treatment from “the man.”

I wouldn’t be singing their praises if they had really hurt this man. He didn’t physically damage any one of them irrevocably. But if people learn of this story, as with the case of the cut off Bobbitt penis, there might be a few men here or there who think twice before lying, cheating and stealing. And that’s a step forward for the happiness of heterosexual women, right?

If women heed the same warning, isn’t that a step forward for humanity as a collective?

11 Responses

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  1. factcheckme said, on September 12, 2009 at 11:50 am

    i too find it laughable–and infurating–that this guy is referred to as a victim of “sexual assault.” i might be ok with “victim” since the one tied down to the bed and conspired against is usually the victim, sure. (although i get and appreciate your argument that hes really not a victim, but has in fact victimized these women himself).

    they really went too far when they characterized what happened to him as a sexual assault. this is CNN playing PC-politics, the same politics in which feminists are criticised for being “sexist” if they call attention to the fact that almost all violent criminals are male, for example. its BS, and a deliberate inversion of reality, in which people can pretend that these things arent gender-specific. in calling him basically a rape victim, we can pretend that “women rape too!” and that men are as frequently the vicitms of relational abuse as they are the perpetrators. and…that its just as serious when women do it, to men. its not. i agree with you fully that this guy had it coming, and that statement is fully consistent with the belief that “noone asks to be raped.” because this guy wasnt raped.

    interestingly, i suspect that if they had paid another man to beat the piss out of him, it clearly would have cause him more damage, but it wouldnt have gotten the women in nearly as much trouble. think about it. socially and legally too, they are paying for humiliating him, not for hurting him, and certainly not because they are a danger to the community. this actually makes me really, really angry. its not fair, and its never a legitimate use of the legal system to perpetuate and police gender-appropriate behaviors.

  2. femspotter said, on September 12, 2009 at 3:22 pm

    I agree about the humiliation entirely. This man’s ego has been bruised more badly than his penis. In my opinion, the women clearly utilized discretion when playing out this setup. Careless and dangerous women would have left him dead or dismembered. I think they deserve a slap on the wrist and probation.

    It is my understanding that a prison sentence results in the revocation of one’s voting rights. Organized women are the kinds of people I want voting for our elected officials.

  3. faemom said, on September 18, 2009 at 5:06 pm

    Let’s hope they get a good lawyer and judge who sees that these women are not harmful to society.
    It brings me back to when I had a run in with a guy. So many people wanted to “take care of it” for me, and I refused and went through the courts. Which didn’t do SHIT. So what would have happened if they took this guy to court? Nothing. Cheating isn’t a crime.
    I wonder what happened to the days when a vengeful woman could just slice tires and key a car and everyone would say he deserved it. I bet people would say now that the woman should pay for the damage, be arrested for vandalizing.

    • femspotter said, on September 19, 2009 at 8:47 am

      If I had any extra cash lying around – ha ha – I would fly out to Wisconsin and picket this trial. I agree that these women don’t seem like any kind of a threat beyond the threat they pose to cheating, abusive men!

      What’s really absurd is that this doofus called the police when he was a fugitive and was of course apprehended! LOL

  4. redpine said, on October 4, 2009 at 5:48 pm

    Let me get this right, the author considers that Ziemann “found a sisterhood and stood up for love and trust between sexual partners” by sexually cheating on her own husband and spending thousands of the family’s dollars on the tryst (details you left out of your writing). Ziemann didn’t like it when her whore turned out to be married, so she “stood up for love and trust” by sexually abusing him?

    I don’t see any heroes in this story, but I am aghast that you would even consider that there might be anything positive in Ziemann’s actions. It has been a few weeks, have you reconsidered your response? Would you have the same response if the victim was female?

    • michelle belliveau said, on January 20, 2010 at 4:34 am

      There is so much more to this story. She was not cheating on her husband they are separated for very unfortunate disabling accident on her husbands part. Do not judge unless you know the story. I happen to be one of the sisters and feel i have done nothing wrong. it is Mr. Davis’s background that needs to be looked at since the early 90’s. Further more she did not sexually abuse him…he asked to be tied and gagged….believe it or not. Let’s see….. sexually abuse would be something along the line of molesting a 11 yr. old girl for almost a year and she just so happens to be your wife’s younger sister. Oh but they just happened to disappear on the hearing date so the trial was dismissed./he should of spent 40 yrs. in prison where he belongs. Look up his file I need not say anymore. It is public record. Get a barf bag it will turn your stomach!!! By the way his name is Donessa T.Davis SR. and mine is Michelle Belliveau……Take care and find much happiness within this world!

  5. femspotter said, on October 4, 2009 at 7:40 pm

    If the victim were female, I don’t know what her captor would have glued to her stomach! Ha!

    Actually, I was not privy to those details you accuse me of leaving out of my article, but I am sincerely happy to research further beyond the CNN article, which did not contain those details. Honestly, I don’t really care who cheated on whom. What I do object to is the characterization of this man as a “victim” in a world that victimizes women…for REAL! (CNN later had an article about married Afghan women: 90 percent of whom are abused by their husbands.)

    Thank you for pointing out the flaws in my writing, specifically my lack of research. I will aim to do better in future. In this case, however, I am still willing to disagree with you and say that yes, I do think there is something heroic about this vigilante justice. I am interested in what your specific points are that make this a myopic view.

    • michelle belliveau said, on January 20, 2010 at 4:49 am

      In a nut shell…. Donessa T. Davis Sr. is a wife beater, cheater, thief, child beater, child molester,and nothing but a liar and a scam artists. Real story will be out soon on National TV. Can’t wait to save women and children in this world from this predator. Tanks for listening Krazyglue Sister Michelle.

      • femspotter said, on January 20, 2010 at 8:58 am

        Thanks for setting the record straight, Michelle.

  6. Danny said, on September 10, 2010 at 11:21 pm

    Say what you will but I think this is a matter of revenge which I think, even though it may feel great, is ultimately wrong. If this were four men who Krazy Glued a woman’s labia together under the same circumstances I’d bet the reaction would not be the same.

    michelle belliveau:
    further more she did not sexually abuse him…he asked to be tied and gagged….believe it or not.
    I hope michelle keeps this in mind the next time she reads a story about a woman that wanted to do some sexual acts but then others were done against her will. Unless he wanted to have his penis glued to his stomach.

    And from what I understand while looking up this case last year adultery is actually a prosecutable crime.

    • femspotter said, on September 11, 2010 at 3:32 pm

      You make a valid “if it were a woman” argument; however, seeing as women have been, and still often are, treated with such disregard for our core humanity, I am willing to give us a pass on a few elaborate if harmless “men suck” stunts.

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